Mis-steps
by boobtuber1978
Summary: Myka must learn how to live life to its fullest again while Helena has grasped a new take on her own. What will happen to their friendship? Rating may change depending on where this goes...
1. New Year's Eve

_I haven't written in awhile. I've been too distracted and preoccupied (read: lazy). If you haven't read my stories before you should know that I don't know where these stories, characters, or plots are going. I've given myself a bit of a "30 day challenge" to get me back into it. Although I won't be publishing every day for 30 days. _

_And also know…if you haven't read before…I don't follow along with how things are or have gone on the show. You have to leave your mind open to interpretation as with anything or any writing. How boring would it be to not make these fabulous characters into whatever you want them to be? They are just molds for our creativity._

_All mistakes are my own._

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><p>Myka opened her eyes with a start as the curtains in her room were being yanked open. The bright morning sun burst through the glass. Normally she would appreciate such a beautiful, winter day but life had been anything but normal lately and, truthfully, she didn't have the energy for appreciating anything. She groaned and turned her back on the outside world that was trying to break in.<p>

Pete set a tray down on the table next to her bed. "You need to eat, Mykes. Look, I made you an egg white omelet, whole wheat toast, and fresh fruit." She watched him uncover the food. The smell turned her stomach. It wasn't bad but nothing appeased her appetite since her treatment started. Thankfully she had completed her first, and hopefully last, round of chemo several days before.

"Are you really going to take credit for this?" She asked hoarsely. Her mouth was constantly dry these days.

"I did do the heavy lifting and carried it up here. This wedgie china is not light." She rolled her eyes at his mistake on Wedgewood China.

Myka pulled the thick white blanket up to her chin and snuggled further into the bed. Her best friend knew that she probably wouldn't eat but it didn't keep him from trying several times a day. She ate enough to sustain her but that was about it.

He sat on the edge of her bed and stared at her in silence for a long time. He thought she'd fallen back to sleep until she spoke without opening her eyes.

"You're kinda creeping me out, Pete."

For months he had been trying to cheer her up. Nothing seemed to work or if it did it was very brief. In the back of his mind he knew what she needed but he didn't dare bring it up for fear of her responding anger. But what else could he do? He couldn't stand seeing her lying in bed so weak and frail. This was not the Myka Bering he knew. It was not the Myka Bering Myka wanted to be.

"Myka, call her."

She sighed heavily into her pillow. Pete waited a few minutes before finally leaving her alone again. She knew he didn't want to burden her. He'd been walking on eggshells around her for months and she couldn't blame him. Despite her condition she had been a royal bitch to everyone. And that was another thing…she absolutely hated being the one with "the condition". All of her friends had been around her taking care of her so they didn't deserve the treatment she bestowed upon them.

Every day she laid in bed and thought of the one person who never left her mind. Myka purposefully didn't tell Helena about her "condition" so the Brit, who had just finally decided to make a life for herself, wouldn't worry or leave her home. She didn't want that burden to bare either.

But try as she might, she couldn't stop herself from thinking and dreaming about Helena. Every day she picked up her phone to call or text, and every day she put it back down without hitting the send button. Pete knew just hearing Helena's voice would make Myka feel better. But he never pushed.

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><p>Helena sat on the end of her bed mindlessly picking at the lace coverlet over her bed. It was old; had been Nate's grandmother's. It was beautiful and something she would have had in London-in her previous life.<p>

But it was this life that caused her such strife. But it wasn't the advancement in technology or propensity for people to be curious to the point of annoyance. No, it wasn't that. The one thing that got in the way, whether in the 19th or 21st century, was her heart.

She loved Adelaide and enjoyed watching the little girl grow up before her eyes. It was wonderful to see the world experienced through the eyes of a child again. Helena wasn't replacing Christina; not by any means. Myka was wrong about that. But Helena did want to raise another child.

And Nate. He was such a good fellow. He was kind and smart and funny. She loved his zeal for life. That's what drew her to him in the first place.

But as she sat on the bed her mind wasn't on Adelaide or Nate. It was on the one person she couldn't get out of her head or heart.

She wondered if she had done the right thing.

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><p>Pete knocked lightly on Myka's closed door. It was after dark and no one had seen or heard from her all day aside from when he took her breakfast tray in. New Year's Eve was always a jovial time at the bed and breakfast. Myka had particularly enjoyed the camaraderie of it all.<p>

"Myka, we're going to have dinner and then watch to see if they finally drop the ball on that Seacrest douche this year. Come on and join us." It killed him that he couldn't make everything better for her. He waited to hear her stirring inside of her room but finally gave up. "I'm sliding your mail under the door. Everyone is asking about you." Normally he would add some stupid joke but he couldn't even do that. He walked away with his chin hanging low to his chest.

Myka was sitting in the high backed chair by the window with a book when Pete knocked on her door. She had almost forgotten that it was New Year's Eve. She was feeling a bit better and thought she would join them later for ringing in the New Year.

Picking up the few pieces of mail from the floor, she tossed several junk mails into the trash can and then saw a single off-white envelope. She could recognize that elaborate, embellished handwriting anywhere. Myka ran her fingertips over the bold black ink. She could tell it was done with a quill pen as Helena preferred.

Slowly she lifted the envelope until it rested below her nose as she breathed in any familiar scent from Helena. Faintly she smelled lavender but wondered if it was just in her mind. The back of the envelope was secured with a deep red wax seal W.

From inside she removed a folded note card with the same flourished writing.

_Dearest M,_

_Perhaps this is not the most proper or even most respectful way of communicating with you. But I fear I will not be able to tell you what I must tell you otherwise. _**(A lump formed in the base of Myka's throat. She couldn't even begin to guess what Helena was alluding to. Helena never was one to shy away from speaking her mind.)**

_You have been the most cherished friend to me, Myka, in this life and before. I regret only of how I've treated you. You deserve so much more in a friend than I've given. I tried to murder you even. _**(On more than one occasion, Myka thought.)**

_There is no other way of telling you but to humbly tell you. So…_

_Nathaniel and I will be married the last Monday of January. I do not expect you to attend or send your regards. I simply do not wish for you to hear of it from someone else. I owe you that at the very least. _

_Sincerely,_

_H_

Myka was stunned to say the least. Or maybe numb was the best way of describing it. Her mind couldn't put coherent thoughts or feelings together. It was all she could do to remember to breath. She hadn't expected her whole being to react the way it had. Helena had been her friend and nothing more. Did she feel differently about Helena than she did her other friends? Yes. But they had a special kind of bond.

She sat there holding the delicate notecard in her shaking hands. Part of her wanted to beg Helena not to make a rash decision; and part of her wanted to wish her friend the very best in her next step of life. Part of her was thrilled to hear from Helena; a bigger part was furious that Helena didn't have the guts to tell her in person or at least over the phone. God, how she wanted to hear her voice.

Myka hadn't realized she was crying until she tasted a lone salty tear slowly fall across her lips.

After a while Myka pulled herself out of the chair. On wobbly legs she stripped off her pajamas on the way to her bathroom. A hot shower was exactly what she needed. Normally she liked to soak in a hot bath and get lost in whatever book she was currently reading but tonight she needed the stinging pellets of water beating down on her shoulders and back.

Thoughts of Helena and their various worldly escapades filled her mind. It was the first time in weeks that a smile had formed on her mouth. Helena wasn't her best friend; that spot was reserved for Pete, always. But her relationship with Helena was different…unlike any she'd had before.

As the water ran cold, Myka came to the realization that she needed to get up out of bed and that room and live. No one was going to do it for her; she wanted no pity. Life was going on all around her and nothing would ever be the same as it was before.

She made her way down the stairs just as the final ten seconds of the countdown began. As she put her arm over Pete's shoulders she thought of the ten things that made her happy.

10…the warehouse

9…adventure

8…books

7…history

6…family, which included her warehouse family-they were more than friends afterall

5…strength

4…soul searching

3…Pete

2…Helena

1…a new beginning


	2. Wedding

**_This was supposed to be posted weeks ago but I got distracted…again. This is "day 2: wedding" of my personal writing challenge. I really need to change it from 'day' to probably nothing since I can't get this done daily. Oh well._**

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><p>Helena removed and put her dress back on no less than five times in the course of an hour. The cream colored lace and pearl gown fit her body perfectly. The dress was elegant and regal with a slight train that caressed the ground around her feet. But if she closed her eyes it felt like a straight jacket. The high lace collar seemingly grew tighter and tighter round her neck.<p>

She'd never been so nervous in her life. She wanted to marry Nate. If she hadn't wanted to she wouldn't have agreed to. Right?

A light rapping on the door startled her back to reality. Helena composed herself and opened the door slowly. At first she didn't see anyone on the other side.

A warm smile appeared on her face. "Adelaide, my dear. I was just now thinking of you."

The young girl entered the room without saying a word. It wasn't like her to be so quiet.

Finally she spoke as she extended her arm out in front of her. Clutched in her fist was a tiny barely pink peony. The delicate flower looked like it had been cut for awhile and had started to slightly wilt. It warmed Helena's heart.

Adelaide bashfully gave the flower to Helena who accepted it graciously. "This is lovely. Thank you." Helena tucked the flower into her bridal bouquet and gave the girl a kiss on the cheek before ushering her back out the door. There wasn't much time left before the ceremony started and Helena was not ready just quite yet.

She secured her simple pearl earrings just as there was another light knock on the door. Apparently the young girl was back rather quickly.

Helena pulled the door open. "Adelaide, I will be ready momentarily." But it wasn't Adelaide on the other side of the door. "Myka." Helena breathed.

They stood staring at each other for several moments. On the outside Helena was rather composed with a slight smile on the corner of her mouth but her insides were melting. If she hadn't been grasping the doorknob she may have collapsed to the floor.

Myka was in no better shape herself. She questioned her coming there even as she knocked on the door. But she didn't expect to be completely floored just by seeing Helena standing before her. She hadn't realized how much she missed her until that moment.

"I thought you might need one person on your side of the aisle." Myka laughed too hard at her own joke but mostly out of nervousness which Helena picked up on. But just as fast, her face turned more somber. "And I thought you'd like to have this today."

Myka held out her hand and watched Helena's eyes gleam. The gold chain and locket draped through her fingers. Helena audibly inhaled a sharp breath. She hadn't forgotten Myka still had the locket. She hadn't asked for it back and never intended to.

Helena took the necklace into her own hand. Myka's eyes closed slowly as their fingers grazed against one another. She immediately recalled the moment Helena's finger brushed hers when Myka was handcuffing her to the chair in London. It seemed like ages ago.

Myka looked up just in time to see a single tear slide down Helena's cheek as she looked at Christina's picture within the locket.

"Here, let me put it on you." Myka took the necklace back and circled behind Helena. She stood a little closer than she needed but didn't back away. She didn't know what came over her but as she reached around from behind Helena she let her fingers barely brush Helena's neck. The raven haired Brit didn't pull away but Myka felt her take a deep breath and hold it.

"Myka." Helena breathlessly whispered.

Myka finished clasping the age old jewelry but didn't move away or take her hands from the necklace. She took a few more moments relishing the feeling of Helena so close to her…smelling her scent. It may be the last time.

"I'm sorry." Myka said as she stepped away. "I should go." She started to hurry towards the door.

"No, please don't go." Helena reached for her and took her by the upper arm. "I'd like you to stay, please."

Myka promised to stay and found her way to small sanctuary where the ceremony was to take place. There were no more than ten people standing around making small talk. They looked to be coworkers or friends of Nate's. She took a seat in one of the beat up wooden pews. It was a charming old church with stunning stained glass windows. Exactly what Helena would choose. It wasn't overly religious. Actually if you didn't know it was a church you wouldn't think it was one.

She began to relax after seeing Helena again and giving her the locket. Their friendship was one she hoped wouldn't deteriorate after they both moved on in separate directions. Although it was Myka who had been the guilty one of not communicating lately.

Helena took a deep breath before exiting the small waiting room where she had gotten ready. Dozens of butterflies were swarming in her stomach. She wasn't as nervous until she'd seen Myka. She regretted that they hadn't more time to catch up and talk with one another. Her life had finally settled into a typical routine.

But in five minutes time everything had come undone.

Helena stood at the back of the room as the music began to play softly. She hadn't wanted traditional wedding music but Nate insisted. Everyone stood and turned to look at her. But they were all a blur except for one.

In that moment, Helena missed the adventure. She missed the world of endless wonder. She missed the unknown. She missed the danger.

She missed Myka.

But onward she walked down the aisle on numb, shaking legs until she stood next to the man who had opened her life to a whole new chapter. He provided her with something she'd never had before. He cared for her, supported her, and nurtured her.

Myka watched as Nate took Helena's hands into his. He looked so happy. Who wouldn't be marrying H. G. Wells? Helena, on the other hand, looked sick. Her face was unusually pale. For anyone who didn't know her wouldn't notice but Myka knew her and knew something wasn't right. This should be the happiest day of her life but Helena looked like she was going to judgment day.

The minister began speaking but Helena heard none of it. Her heartbeat was deafening her ears.

Helena lowered her head and stared at her hands encased in Nate's but her mind turned back in time.

Like a picture book, images flashed before her…

Watching Myka casually explore her London home.

Firing the Tesla at Myka and Pete.

Slipping the tracking transmitter into Myka's pocket on the bench.

Myka thrusting the gun at her own face at Yellowstone and trusting Helena with her life.

Begging Myka to destroy the Janus coin.

Afraid of not being able to save Myka.

Watching Myka's face as the warehouse blew up around them.

Feeling Nate squeeze her hands she blinked back to the present and her eyes careened directly to Myka and her heart collapsed. There was always undeniable, some would say sexual, tension between them but neither ever discussed it or recognized it. But Helena couldn't fathom a world without Myka and this new life she was about to enter would not be conducive to how she had grown accustomed.

"Helena." Nate whispered.

But her eyes never broke from Myka's. She could see in Myka's face that she was questioning but she also did not break the lock.

The minister asked again if Helena took this man…

Closing her eyes and swallowing the lump in her throat, Helena shook her head. "I apologize." She couldn't bear to see his expression. Helena turned on her heels and hurried out of the church without looking back.


	3. Rain

_**Challenge Chapter 3: Rain**_

_**I haven't started the next challenge chapter yet and need a random word or something. So, in your reviews or a DM suggest any random word or any ideas. Maybe you'll have better ideas/creativity than I do. I'll also do some that are maybe 100 words only, only dialogue, POV, letters, etc.**_

_**Thank you for reading!**_

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><p>Myka waited for Nate to follow Helena out of the church but he was stunned in place. Around her the crowd was whispering their bewilderment. When it was obvious that Nate was not going after Helena, Myka quickly followed Helena's route.<p>

As soon as she stepped outside, Myka was deluged by huge raindrops. The sun was still shining bright as the heavy rain came down. She pulled her coat tighter around her body just as she spotted Helena.

She watched for a few moments. Helena stood in an open field surrounded by sunshine. Her head thrown back as her face was washed with the cold rain. Her fingers glided over her soaking wet black hair.

Finally Myka made her way out to where Helena was standing. At first she couldn't tell if Helena was crying or not. Her face was drenched with water. It was almost endearing to see the impeccable Brit's makeup running. Maybe she was a bit human afterall.

But then Helena smiled. A smile Myka hadn't seen from her in a long time. They stood there in silence, soaking up the rain for a long time. Myka's own straightened hair becoming curly again with every raindrop.

"Are you okay?" Myka finally asked.

"Can we leave here? I don't care where. I simply want out of this gown and away from here. Please." Helena almost seemed panicked to get out of that wedding dress. Her hands clutched at its material.

"Of course. Go change and meet me out front."

It wasn't long before Helena jumped into the passenger seat of Myka's car. Having successfully changed out of her own wet clothes and into a dry set, Myka waited behind the wheel. Helena looked renewed. Her wet hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Her face void of all makeup.

"Where to?" Myka asked.

Helena shrugged her shoulders. "Anywhere. I don't care. Just away from here, Myka." She turned back towards the church for one last look. She hated how she had chosen to do what she did but she knew if she hadn't she would have gotten herself stuck in a situation that would have been even more difficult to get out of later.

They drove in silence for almost an hour before Myka finally spoke. They were well out of town by then. Myka wasn't specifically going back to the warehouse or Univille but she instinctively got on that route. The rain that had started earlier was now turning into snow.

"What happened back there?" Myka asked and waited for a reply that she didn't get. "I thought that's what you wanted. A new life. A family. Nate."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Helena turn to her then and sigh. "I thought so as well." Helena sighed again, more heavily this time. "It was everything I wanted…in 1890."

As the night wore on driving along the country roads became more and more difficult with the increasing snowfall. It was miles and miles between passing cars. Myka really wanted to stop for the night but there was nothing along the way. She kicked herself for taking the road she was on.

Myka looked over at Helena who was sleeping soundly. She imagined the gamut her emotions had run that day had worn her out. But Myka couldn't help but feel selfish for being happy to have Helena back after she'd just broken the hearts of both Nate and Adelaide. It didn't seem fair to any of them. But in it all, someone was bound to get hurt and if she could prevent Helena from being that one then she would do anything she had to.

It shocked Myka to hear those thoughts forming in her head. Sure, they'd had a very tumultuous friendship, if it could even be called that, but Myka never thought of herself as Helena's protector. Much less the protector of her heart.

In the blink of an eye and a split second of not paying attention, Myka's car spun out of control on the icy surface of the road. She tried to get the steering wheel under control but the spinning wheel caught her wrist and twisted it badly. She could only let go and hope for the best.

Her life didn't flash before her eyes like it had before. Her good hand reached over and took the one in the seat next to her and held on tight. Myka felt Helena squeeze her hand in return. Not knowing how bad it was going to end, Myka felt comforted by that one tiny gesture.

The airbags deployed as the car crashed into a wooden fence. The sound of crushing metal and broken glass was louder than she expected. But she figured she wasn't dead. Yet she wasn't moving.

"Myka? Are you alright?" Helena shook Myka's shoulder gently. "Myka?"

Myka groaned and opened her eyes and saw the most beautiful, caring, black eyes looking back at her. What was going on with her? She shook her head to get her thoughts straight.

"I'm okay. You okay? Ohhh!" Her wrist was worse than she thought. Any movement caused excruciating pain.

"We must call an ambulance." Helena dug in her bag for her cell phone.

"No, Helena. I'm okay." Myka tried to assure her.

"But this car isn't drivable. We have to call someone. And you really need to get checked out." Helena fished her cell phone out of her pocket. "Bollocks! No service." With the sleeve of her shirt she wiped away the fog from the windows. Peering out she saw only blackness…pitch blackness.

Then over the horizon she saw a flickering light up a hill.

"Myka, there's a light up ahead. I'll go for help." Helena reached for the door.

"No!" Myka grabbed her arm. "Don't leave me alone."

It was beginning to get colder in the non-operational car. Helena didn't want to leave Myka but she wasn't sure how far it was to the light and even then if anyone would be able to help them. She reached into the back seat and found their coats and bags. The snow wasn't deep but it was slushy so it took careful steps to get around to the driver's side door to help Myka get out.

Helena gingerly helped Myka into her coat not wanting to injure her wrist any more than it was. She still couldn't tell if it was broken or not. Myka groaned in pain as they made their way up the darkened road. Her leg was hurting pretty badly but she didn't want to tell Helena and cause her any futher worry.

The frigid wind and blowing snow were chilling them to the bones. But the light was starting to get closer now as they trudged forward. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel hopefully.

An hour later they made it to an old weathered barn. The smell of hay and animals permeated through broken boards. There wasn't a house nearby so Helena banged on the wooden barn door with her fist. The doors rattled but no one appeared so she pushed them open.

The light she saw from the road was one over a horse stable to keep an old brown mare warm during the night. The horse eyed them curiously but that was all.

Helena dropped the bags to the ground and looked around. To be so seemingly drafty, the barn was quite toasty considering. The mare was the only animal in the barn but there were a few empty stalls filled with, thankfully, clean hay.

Helena made a mound of straw and covered it with an old red and grey saddle blanket she found hanging on a hook.

"Here, we can rest for the night." Helena helped Myka over to the makeshift bed.

Despite its meager accommodations, it wasn't half bad given their circumstances. Myka welcomed being able to get off of her leg. Between that and her wrist throbbing she couldn't tell which hurt worse. She made herself as comfortable as possible on the hay bed. Surprisingly, it was soft.

Myka had just nearly dozed off as Helena laid another blanket over her. As her eyes drifted closed again, Myka couldn't help feel guilty.

"Helena?" Myka weakly called out.

Helena hurried to her side. It was funny to watch the Brit being so nurturing.

"Yes, darling."

"I'm sorry. It's my fault that we're in this mess." Myka still didn't open her eyes. She didn't want to see the look of angst on Helena's face. But had she opened them she would have only seen Helena's own eyes filled with concern and attentiveness.

"Myka. Do not feel guilty. I'm the one who coerced you into taking me away from that church. Look at me." Helena took Myka's uninjured hand into her own. "Of all that we have been through together, this is nothing. I promise to get you home by tomorrow evening. My God you're so cold." She tucked the blanket further around Myka. How many times would she put Myka in danger, she thought. It pained her to remember all the previous times and now this one.

Once Helena knew Myka was asleep, she walked outside to see if she could get any reception on her phone. On the hill, her phone showed one lonely bar that kept disappearing. She rang the number at the inn but it never would connect. Finally she decided to try and send a text message to Pete.

_[Pete, we've had an accident in the snow and are domiciled to a barn somewhere. Track my phone and send help pronto. HG]_

Helena didn't wait to see if Pete would respond. She wasn't even sure if the message would go thru so she tucked her phone into the back pocket of her pants. After an hour of rummaging around the barn, Helena decided there was no way she could safely build a fire in the heavily combustible barn. She lay down beside Myka and inched her back up against Myka's. Hopefully their body heat would help to keep each other warm through the night.

The vibration from her cell phone jolted her awake. Helena quickly grabbed it from her pocket before it woke Myka who had finally settled and stopped shivering.

She read a message from Pete: [_Are you fucking kidding me?! Is Mykes okay? She CANNOT get sick, HG!]_

Helena wrinkled her brow. What did he mean, she wondered. That was odd even for Pete.


End file.
